Alright kids...
It's taken me longer than I would have liked to get these snaps together, but there are a LOT of them. And this became a busy week rather early, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But it is bad for NTG!
So, without further ado, since I know you've all been salivating over your keyboards, a page open to NTG and your mouse suspended over the Refresh button, clicking every few seconds day and night, night and day, hoping and praying that the next click could bring you some of that New Snaps goodness to which you've become hopelessly addicted... here is the photographic rundown of the greatest annual event in the history of the human race...
The Third Annual Two Man March!!!***************
The March this year began at Ben's doorstep, at approximately 10am, Sunday April 4th, 2006.
Ben began without his jacket and hat, and we turned back about three blocks into the trip so he could get them. Classic Ben.
We set off in the direction of the Williamsburg Bridge, which would carry us into Manhattan at Delancey Street. On the way, we passed this little bit of visual coincidence...
It's hard to see in the shot, but the bus stop sign says "Red Hook." And there's that red crane dangling above the building... Okay, maybe I'm the only one who picks up on stuff like that...
Also along the way, Ben decided seven hours of walking wouldn't be enough exercise for the day, so he made use of this conveniently discarded Alpine Tracker.
At the foot of the Bridge is this statue of George Washington, who, as some kind graffiti artist saw fit to remind us through his trade, couldn't lie.
Thanks, graffiti artist! Then we hit the
Williamsburg...
Oy vey, indeed! There are a lot of little messages on the bridge, such as this one:
Apparently, honkies in Williamsburg can suck a dong. How about that? Here's the commemorative placard in the middle of the bridge...
...and looking back toward Brooklyn...
...and at long last, we left the palatial beauty of Brooklyn for the utter chaos of downtown Manhattan.
That picture just seems fitting... Manhattan welcomes you with traffic and urban craziness. Jesus, on the other hand, welcomes you with open arms.
Ben and I couldn't really figure out what was going on here. Are they dressing Jesus? Does this picture represent when He arose from the dead? And why is he smiling like the
Buddy Christ statue from
Dogma? While we pondered these questions, we passed the
Bowery Ballroom.
I love documenting these posters...
...because they serve as a sort of time capsule of what music played at the Bowery (not to mention
Mercury Lounge and
Webster Hall) in April of 2006. Thirty years from now, it could be invaluable to know that on April 12, 2006, Supersystem and Say Hi To Your Mom opened for Mates of State!
It could!We then made our way, via Spring Street, to Broadway for the "Main Event."
This avenue runs the entire length of Manhattan (save for a negligible distance into Battery Park), and this would be our primary route all the way up the island. From year to year, it's interesting to see what changes have happened along the route... For instance, this place didn't exist last year:
Also last year, this lady was not fixing mannequins in this store window:
My, how the times change. Sunrise, sunset... And yet, as much as things change, some things don't.
Grace Church has stood on Broadway (at 10th Street) since its consecration in 1846.
In the window of a Halloween shop, this caught my eye...
It's one of those holographic pictures that changes depending on the angle from which you look. Walking by, it morphs momentarily from an old-timey looking couple (a la: the painting
American Gothic) to these ghouls. I guess there's a market for this type of thing...
Nearing Union Square, we passed the movie theater showing the long-awaited Beastie Boys concert film
Awesome: I Fuckin' Shot That!
Ben and I actually saw this movie Saturday night, it was our Eve of the March viewing... a new tradition this year that we'll hopefully continue in coming years.
Another tradition of The March, if only because New York is New York, is walking by goofy random shit. This year, we happened upon this odd little photo shoot:
A woman, wearing some type of fur jacket, holding a little froo-froo dog, with about 20 guys taking pictures of her. Yeah, that's New York.
We must have been distracted by stupid photo shoots, because we veered away from Broadway momentarily and passed by the
Museum of Sex.
Yep. A museum dedicated entirely to boning. Outstanding!
Some of the local merchants must be distracted by photo shoots and museums about boning, too...
I'd love to do a whole snap-rospective on spelling errors in New York. Including that last one. "Snap-rospective"? Who the hell do I think I am? I have a website and suddenly I'm Shakespeare?
Ben contemplated this for awhile...
...but he was broken from his spell by a man handing out flyers for a strip club.
I wonder if he knows about the museum...
By this point, we were both starving, so we took advantage of one of the many street vendors. New York pretzels are worlds better than South Philly post-Flyers-game pretzels. They're so good, in fact, that Ben spilled mustard on his sleeve.
Classic Ben. After the pretzel, we walked past Ben's least favorite place on Earth, ESPNZone.
Another entry in the Bizarre Stuff Happening on the Street in New York category...
...A guy in an apple suit, taking pictures with tourists. I almost wanted to get my picture with him, just for the sake of it. Then I got distracted by this guy:
He had to be at least 70, riding his bike through Midtown, showcasing his collection of pretty women pictures, and playing garbled music from a small boombox behind his seat. I love this city.
It was at this point that I noticed I had wandered into the background of some nice tourists' picture. So I snapped them, for good measure...
Alright, by this point we were in the lower-50's, and we couldn't believe this menu. I mean, it's New York, and it's no surprise that New York is expensive, but...
ONE DAMN EGG, for $5.55? That is outlandish!
Speaking of food, we were holding out for at least one street fair. Last year we wandered through two just along Broadway, so we figured it wouldn't be too much to ask this time around. Street fair food would have been outstanding on The March... grilled corn on the cob, sweet potato fries, $1 Thai food, and let's not forget the best lemonade known to man. Sadly, we figured wrongly, and didn't pass a single fair. I'm guessing it was too early this year... last year, The March was the second weekend of April. It's amazing to think a single week can mean the difference between street fairs and no street fairs. Ben settled for a Mister Softee instead.
This window display at Barney's was just plain bizarre:
I swear, I don't get fashion. I just don't get it, on any level. Apparently, neither does the dude who drives this:
I have to say, that rules. And there are coffee cups and other assorted trash all over the dashboard, which leads me to believe this car is still operational. I don't know why that makes me so happy, it just does.
And as usual, I had to document 100th Street.
Just because. Another tradition of The March is spending time in this cemetery at 153rd Street:
It is so peaceful in there, it's easy to get lost in thought very quickly. We sat for about 20 minutes, not really speaking, just soaking in the sunlight and contemplation beneath those trees. Ben nearly fell asleep. After our brief siesta, we paid our respects to our dear friend, Alfred Tennyson Dickens.
Yep, Charles' son. Interestingly enough, there is some dispute over whether or not he's even buried in this grave. Read more about that
HERE. My guess is, he's risen from the dead and is partying it up. Uh-huh.
By this point, we were making our way into the Washington Heights area, and discovered this ad:
Good ol' Luis and Moonshadow... They are always with us, through times of tribulation and confusion.
Confusion, that is, over things like what the license plate on Hulk's car is supposed to mean...
(HLKBSTA1? What is that?)
...and how entire buildings manage to stay aloft on stilts.
We were getting very near the end, and we could absolutely taste it! But that still didn't stop us from pausing to admire yet another excellent hoopty...
...and get in touch with our inner-7-year-old-Spanish-girls.
Another few blocks, and we crossed the bridge into the city's uppermost borough, The Bronx.
Seven hours later, and there we were.
So we've come to the end of our journey... BUT, lament not, dear readers, for there is more goodness in the next post... Our Third Annual Two Man March New York City Subway Stop Rundown! Its name is just as terribly grandiose as it needs to be!
CHECK IT OUT HERE!*****N*T*G*****
Never hesitate to comment!
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