New Snaps 08.19.05: Special Guest Photographer!

HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Friday, work is slow as hell and I'm the only one here. It's pouring outside and I'm eating lunch (salmon, brown rice & spinach, for those curious). I'm also listening to SubArachnoid Space's album Also Rising.

All these coinciding circumstances can mean only one thing, my faithful readers... It's time for some New Snaps!

See, that's the part of the post where there would be a New Snaps intro jingle, if that was possible. It would play right after the reader's eyes passed over those words. Someone should devise a way to do that. One of you guys out there, make that happen and have it to me by Monday.

But FIRST, check these out! We've got a special guest photographer this week, a talented young lady from Connecticut named Cait. Uhhh, I don't think I've ever mentioned her... before...... [cough]. In addition to being a great photographer, she's also a gifted dancer. Here she is in one of her dancer-ly poses:



See?! See how dancer-ly? She's so damn dancer-ly! There's even more dancer-ly poses below... She recently passed a disc of various snaps our way, and said to pick some of the best. So that's just what I did. Check'it! They's so some of the best, they's don't even need captions!


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That's a wrap for these New Snaps (whomever's writing that jingle for me, notice that line rhymed... feel free to use that in an outro jingle). The NTG offices will be on a brief hiatus until early September while I take care of some various things. On tap for the next few weeks: MomVisit '05! Pictures are imminent!... followed by a 6-day camping trip to Maine. Pictures are even more imminent! It'll be an eventful, relaxing, and enlightening break from the world of video editing and blogging, and frankly, I need it. You people demand so much!!!!!

I'm just kidding... You guys rule! As the song says, see you in September...


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On The Beach...

Long Beach Island, New Jersey.

I've been going to this beach since I can remember going to beaches. This is the place where my father caught a three-foot sand shark on his first fishing trip EVER. I was about 7, and the event started me on the path to a lifelong infatuation with sharks. It's also the beach where I got lost as a child, taking refuge with a nice woman who was kind enough to share her Kool-Aid with me until my parents found me. That was when I was about 5.

My grandparents had bought their house on the island around that time, and my Mom has inherited it now. With life being the way it is, I'm lucky if I can make it there for a weekend or two during the summer. This weekend was that lucky weekend.

I spent so much time this weekend on the beach at E. 33rd Street. Besides spending the days swimming, jumping waves, and walking around putting Pentax to good use, I also walked back to the beach both nights around midnight. I sat on a bench, listening to nothing but the wind, the waves, and my thoughts. I also, for the sake of literalism, walked around one evening listening to Neil Young's 1974 album "On The
Beach." Here's some snaps from the weekend...

Think I'll get outta town...


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On The Beach

The world is turning, I hope it don't turn away
The world is turning, I hope it don't turn away
All my pictures are falling from the wall where I placed them yesterday
The world is turning, I hope it don't turn away

I need a crowd of people, but I can't face them day to day
I need a crowd of people, but I can't face them day to day
Though my problems are meaningless, that don't make them go away
I need a crowd of people, but I can't face them day to day

I went to the radio interview, but I ended alone at the microphone
I went to the radio interview, but I ended alone at the microphone
Now I'm living out here on the beach, but those seagulls are still out of reach
I went to the radio interview, but I ended alone at the microphone

Get outta town, think I'll get outta town
Get outta town, think I'll get outta town
Head for the sticks with my bus and friends, I follow the road, no I don't know where it ends
Get outta town, think I'll get outta town

'Cause the world is turning, I don't wanna see it turn away...





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Top 5 Nemesis Foods List

Everyone must have an enemy...

I alluded to this post in the most recent New Snaps. Here's the explanation behind my hatred of the following foods:

1) BANANAS

This abomination of nature is, and will always be, Hated Food Number 1. There's a story behind this...

In sixth grade, we were preparing for Field Day. You remember Field Day, right? It's that day near the end of the school year when the whole school goes outside and competes in events like the Tug of War, the Egg Toss, and various races and obstacle courses. Awhile before Field Day, a sign-up list was posted in the classrooms with the different events. They were all represented simply: "Relay." "Tug of War." "50 Yard Dash." And on and on... I signed up for the relay, since I could run well but not exceptionally.

When Field Day arrived and we all piled outside into the 95 degree early June sunlight, the teachers let us all know that many events had some kind of goofy twist. I guess they figured, "the kids are 12 and won't be satisfied with the events as they are, so we need to make them wacky in some way." Thanks, teachers... thanks.

The twist of the relay I was running was, there was no baton. Runners would carry and pass a peeled banana instead.

No, really, teachers... thanks.

Being the third runner, I should have expected that the by the time it reached me, the banana would be nothing more than a slimy pile of yellow-brown mush. It was warm, yet clammy, and some of the gross liquid trickled through my fingers as I ran my distance around the track, holding the mush at extreme arm's length. The smell was absolutely nauseating. When I reached my team's anchor, I wiped what was left of the mush onto her hand, ran off the side of the track, and barfed in front of the entire class.

My friend Nimit accompanied me to the nurse's office, and I went home and slept the rest of the day. I didn't like bananas anyway, but that day solidified them as perpetual Number 1 on The List. To this day, the smell of banana nauseates me. Even the word pisses me off sometimes.


2) RAISINS

No dramatic tale of adolescent woe suporting this one... I just hate the texture and taste of raisins. It's odd, because I love grapes. But raisins make my blood boil. I also love oatmeal cookies, but raisins are a product of Lucifer himself.


3) PICKLES

The absolute worst thing about pickles is when restaurants assume it's universally cool to put them on your plate. It's especially bad in the case of a burger and fries...the pickle juice soaks everything it touches, and the smell and taste just infect the whole meal.


4) COCONUT

This one comes down to texture rather than taste... I love coconut milk, especially in Thai food. Hell, I even cook my own Thai food with coconut milk! (And yes, all you haters, I am actually a damn good cook... I make a mean four-star-spicy red curry. Test me. You'll lose.) But the texture of fresh coconut grosses me out. That slow, wet tearing feeling that you can almost hear... ugh. Hate it.


5) MUSTARD

All colors, styles, levels of spiciness... This spot is more of a fluctuating one, mustard is just currently occupying it. Mustard's predecessor in spot #5 was barbecue sauce. Yes, I hate barbecue sauce. Mustard edged it out recently though...

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So that's The List. I am a happy man so long as I steer clear of these five offensive foodstuffs.

Another word on bananas... While the Field Day thing cemented it, I think it is an inherited trait that I hate them.

My father was an immigrant, born in Yugoslavia and raised in Austria. According to a story my mom tells, when my dad and his family were emigrating in 1952, there was nothing to eat on the boat except bananas. This meager diet, combined with the rough Atlantic waves, made my 13-year-old dad violently sick for the entire trip. The only day he wasn't sick was the day they arrived, the day he saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time.

From that day on, he never ate another banana. I like to think I'm continuing in his footsteps...


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New Snaps 8.11.05

Have you felt neglected?

Even if you haven't, I feel kind of like I haven't been paying as much attention to m'blog as much as in recent weeks (despite the recent flurry of activity in the past day or so). I suppose things have been busier than usual... Then again things around here are always busy. Life's like that. Sunrise, sunset. And they had no bananas.

Speaking of bananas, I feel like I've been telling a lot of people about my official Top 5 Nemesis Foods List lately. And number one (with a BULLET!!! p-kew!!!) on that list is... you guessed it...

1) BANANAS
2) RAISINS
3) PICKLES
4) COCONUT
5) MUSTARD

There is some degree of story/explanation behind each of these... but that's a post all to itself. We're not here to talk about everything I despise from bananas to mustard! We're here to talk about New Snaps! Get your hand out of that mustard jar, fatty!


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My trip home to Pennsylvania yielded quite a few snaps. I find that a lot when I'm home, I like to just walk around my neighborhood and see what grabs me. Photographically speaking, that is.


This Is A Dandelion. For The Ladies.



Not really much to say on this one. It's a dandelion. For the ladies.


The Face On The Stone



I don't know what it is... maybe it's just the way my psyche works, but I feel like I pick out faces within everyday images. I snapped this because I thought the arrangement of the stepping stones looked cool. It wasn't until after uploading the picture that I noticed the little face pattern on the second stone. It's obviously nothing more than little bits of grass, but to me it looks like a face. Maybe I'm just losing my mind.

Maybe I'll do a post someday of a collection of these "face" images...

Maybe I should shut up and get on with the snaps...


Colin, Taking After His Uncle



Not only is this kid inquisitive, he's strong too. He got a hold of Pentax's lariat and yanked, almost pulling it out of my hand. It's nice to see him grabbing for a camera though... Never too young to start...


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My Psyched-Out CD Art



A number of times lately, my co-worker Jared has called upon my artistic skills (?) on CDs he burns for friends. This is a recent one, a copy of the Zombies' 1965 album "Begin Here." I think it's an improvement over their original cover art.


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Dinner In Little Italy



There's something just plain great about sitting outside on a summer night gorging oneself on Italian food. This time around we packed about 15 people, most of whom I didn't know, around a long table outside Benito 1 in Little Italy.


Painting With Light, #1 and #2





In between bites of my fettucine bolognese, I made use of the Little Italy decor for some of my favorite kind of shot, painting with light. Yet another series I should do someday...


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Untitled



This one just kind of is what it is...


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Jackson. ZACK Jackson.



While relaxing over some beverages one evening, Zack donned my sunglasses, and of course made them look cooler than I ever could. And to think I picked them up for five bucks off a table on 116th Street. You can keep your $390 Dolce & Gibanas. We reppin' East Harlem, son!


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Cait And Joe, Fangoriously Devouring Each Other



Friends and acquaintances have been asking (nay, clamoring) to see a picture of this new mystery lady in my life. So here we are. Devouring each other. Fangoriously. Man, my teeth look really weird. Is that really what my teeth look like? That's terrifying... seriously, stare at my teeth for 60 seconds, and tell me they don't look terrifying. I defy you!

I also defy you to keep an eye out for some of Cait's photographic handywork in our next edition of New Snaps!

[And immense thanks and respect go out to Mr. Jackson for his photography skills on this one. He captured the fangorious devouring in all its terror.]


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That's a wrap for this time around... Thanks for sticking it out. EXTRA-special thanks go out to our regular readers (all four of them), those kind souls who've lately been informing me that they check the site on a daily basis. That makes me happy, thinking I can give at least a small handful of people a little bit of enjoyment. I do what I can.

Speaking of which, I seem to now have a number of these "theoretical" posts to work on... But first things first... I'm going to bed.

JMP OUT


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New NTG Email Address!

Hi all...

We're happy to announce a newly established NTG email account:

NTG_MAIL@yahoo.com

This email will be full service and devoted entirely to the workings of Nothing Terribly Grandiose. Please feel free to email anytime with questions, comments, suggestions, salutations, or anything else. Also, please continue to freely use the comments feature on the individual posts.

Of course, Yahoo can't grant you an email account without patronizing you just a little bit...



Hooray? I signed up for an email account, Yahoo... I didn't say my first word or anything. I'm surprised they didn't have a little animated gif of a cartoon puppy clapping jubilantly...


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