Memorial Day Weekend: L.I. Style, Son!

Here's some snaps from my weekend recording with RJ115 at Russo's place in Long Island (Merrick, for those of you wondering).



What kind of American holiday weekend would it be without a barbecue and cheap domestic beer?




I snapped this without realizing my lens cover was stuck half-closed. It turned out looking kind of cool though. That's been my experience lately...my accidental pictures usually turn out to be some of my favorites.




The master at work.




I think the dynamic of this picture is pretty funny; John's at the board drinking a Bud Light, Zack is at the keyboard directing John's recording while he plays, Cory is in mid-yawn, and I'm running around taking pictures of everything.




When we needed a break from recording we checked out various cool spots around Russo's place. Sunday afternoon we went to Wantagh Park, which sits on a little inlet by the Long Island Sound. I liked the image of Zack and Cory against this veritable wall of clouds.




This looks like our answer to Abbey Road (although I'm not in it, and we're walking the wrong direction). I like how the dudes are all looking at the sunbathing girl.




Again, an accidental picture. I didn't even notice the guy out-of-focus in the background. This picture looks like a movie still, and Zack's character is about to jump out of the car and go knock that guy out.




It must be emasculating to go from being the most feared and ruthless dude across many galaxies, to shilling for snack crackers. Darth must have needed a check. [Found but not photographed in the same grocery shopping trip: Darth Vader Fruit Snacks.]


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Movie Review: Unleashed

No, the review itself isn't unleashed...that's the name of the film! [single tuba musically comments on this joke]



Danny, Jet Li's character in "Unleashed," bears at least indirect similarities to Li himself as an actor: Danny is the pet aggressor of Bob Hoskins' scenery-chewing, seemingly-immortal Glasgow bad guy, Uncle Bart, violently assaulting anyone on whom his master sics him. Bart cares little for Danny's feelings or well-being, save for what benefits his own interests. Similarly, the bigger Li becomes as an actor, the more he seems drawn to projects that allow him to act and develop a character rather than simply kicking ass for 90 minutes; but sadly, this is not what draws viewers to his films...the asskicking is.

This is unfortunate, especially this time around for Li, because what could be a dark and gritty examination of the psychology of submission becomes sabotaged by film-student dialogue and impossibly convenient plot advancements. What keeps the film going is the anticipation of what Danny will do when his collar comes off, which amounts to little more than trademark Jet Li destruction. As usual, his martial arts work is impeccable, but it can't carry a film so burdened with hamfisted messages and built on such a flimsy script. This story would be much better serviced in the hands of a Guy Ritchie, or even a mid-90's John Woo.

I'll grant two stars out of four to "Unleashed," a film that's watchable for the first half hour, but an exercise in rote predictability for the rest. Yes, Li kicks ass (although I must echo Zack and say I'm tired of the wirework in today's martial arts films, a trend thankfully bucked by the recent gem "Ong Bak: Thai Warrior"), but his performance can only help this movie muster a growl rather than a bite.

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"¡Ciento Quince!"

This past Monday was the monthly open mic at Orbit East Harlem, hosted by my good friend Abby Rock. Among performances by many neighborhood folks, the evening also marked the second performance by RJ115, the band in which I'm playing bass nowadays. We had played one open mic back in February, but hadn't done much of anything since, so it was nice to get back at it.

We wound up playing three songs, and we were received very well by the crowd. Orbit's a small place, so it doesn't take a lot to fill it, but it felt like the vibe was there, and pretty strong; people definitely dug us. Good things will come from this...I can just tell.

These are some pics from our performance, during our opening song, the brand new "¡Ciento Quince!":











* ultra-big thanks to Michelle Rowley for being our impromptu photographer!

Our drummer, the inimitable Ron Jusso (John Russo, whose alter-ego surfaces whenever wearing the illustrious Ron Jusso t-shirt...stay tuned for the clothing line, Ron Jusso Apparel, hitting stores in 2006!), also took the stage with some of his acoustic tunes:



And what would the open mic be without a few tunes from our lovely and talented host, Abby Rock? She played her staple "The House of the Rising Sun," as well as Neil Young's "The Needle and the Damage Done" (which she graciously dedicated to me, being the Neil fan that I am) and some originals which she played with Reyes, a blues guitarist from the neighborhood:







Orbit's next open mic is Monday, June 27. Rest assured: RJ115 will be in attendance!

The saga continues...

New Snaps 5.25.05

"...The drug was called 'whiskey.'" ~Conan O'Brien

As I pulled up to the ol' laptop last night to compile this week's New Snaps, I contemplated watching Conan. It was that time of night, and I figured I'd be up for a little while longer. I decided I'd use the first couple jokes as the indicator for whether to leave it on or not (part of me wanted to bag the whole thing and just go to bed...). I came in mid-joke, so the very first thing I heard Conan say was "...the drug was called 'whiskey.'" I thought the punchline was funny enough that I didn't even need to hear the setup. I left it on.

These New Snaps are from many different days/places over the past few weeks. There's not much of a thread tying them together, except that they were all taken somewhat impulsively. And that's hardly a thread. But who needs thread? What has thread ever done for anyone?


The White Bus



I was (ironically?) riding a bus uptown not long ago, and this bus drove by. I had never seen a chartered tour bus so bereft of adornment before. I hypothesized that this bus was just coming from the factory and had yet to be emblazoned with its parent company's logos. That, or it was just a plain white bus and I was reading too much into it. That's also entirely possible.

Either way, I think it's cool to have just a plain white bus. When RJ115 blows up (see "¡Cientos Quince!" also on this page) and are touring the country, I think a stark white tour bus is the way to go.

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Todd and Zack, on the 6







There's not much story behind these. We were on our way back from a bar called Grand Saloon a few weeks back, snaking beneath the New York streets on our way back to East Harlem. I can't remember what the discussion was, but it looks like it was serious...

Actually knowing the three of us, it was most likely about one of five things:

1) Martial arts
2) Comic books
3) Some movie
4) Some sporting event
5) Some band

We're complex guys, the three of us.

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Episode III



I happened to pass Union Square Stadium 14 during the early afternoon of Episode III's opening Saturday. This was the line, practically around the block. I was surprised by the relative absence of nerds in costumes. I guess they all saw it at midnight Thursday night.

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Subway Graffiti





Since moving to New York, I've developed a low-level fascination with the Sharpie-drawn artform endemic to the subway system. It's funny how so often, the simplest joke will work: draw two penises on this image of Will Ferrell, sit back, and laugh your ass off. This is a classic graffiti tactic, hearkening long back to those rose-tinted days in Mrs. Peckmann's study hall in eighth grade, when Paul Sirianni and Martin Sjostedt christened nearly every page of her People magazines with phallic symbols. It's immature, it's puerile, it's downright stupid...but damned if it isn't just plain funny. I defy anyone to stare at this for a minute or two without at least cracking a smile. Well, maybe my Mom could...but she wouldn't make it a minute or two; she'd dismiss it as "silly" within the first 10 seconds and shift her attention elsewhere.

I'd hardly call it a storehouse, but I have a few different subway graffiti photos from over the past few months...I sense a post entirely devoted to them coming in the near future...

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2004 Ended 139 Days Ago?

For the past few years, I've been marking the end of each calendar year by writing a "year summary," an encapsulated recap of the major events/lessons of the previous 12 months. The summary usually contained a section devoted specifically to superlatives: Favorite Album, Favorite Movie, Favorite Concert, and on and on...

2004 was indeed a tumultuous year - anyone who knows me is aware that some VERY major transitions happened last year...I'm essentially a different man living an entirely different life - but I never managed to compile an entire year summary (2005 has been tumultuous in itself, so time is scarce these days). It seems moot to revisit the year five months after the fact, but what I HAVE managed to write is some of the musical superlatives. I figured I could, at the very least, share with my bastion of loyal readers some of the records and concerts that mattered to me in 2004.

I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid...



ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

Beastie Boys - "To the Five Boroughs"



Fun, poignant, and utterly listenable, this record couldn't have entered my library at a better time. It was summer, I was 25, living in Manhattan, and newly aware of how alive I was. How could I not love an album purported to be a "love letter to New York" by one of my lifelong favorite bands? Much like SubArachnoid Space's "Also Rising" was the soundtrack to my first six months in New York, "To the Five Boroughs" will forever be stamped "Summer 2004."

RUNNERS-UP:

Woven Hand - "Consider the Birds"



This one snuck in under the radar at the very end of the year, but it's a perfect endcap to David Eugene Edwards' musical relevance to my overall life in 2004. "Birds" is a lush, spooky reminder of why Edwards is the most memorable musician/frontman in my recent memory.

*Check out Ben Hill's review of this record at:
http://www.prefixmag.com/reviews.php?page=W&a=1&rt=cd&rf=WovenHand%20ConsidertheBirds%20110204.
Yes, that's the longest link in the history of the internet.

DJ Dangermouse - "The Grey Album"



All the controversy surrounding this album faded predictably fast, and what's left is just a fantastic collection of songs. Unfortunately, it helped spawn industry-sanctioned mash-up dreck, like LP/JZ, but that doesn't detract from how enjoyable an album it is.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Kanye West's debut "The College Dropout" is a brilliant, wonderfully-made 50-minute record saddled with 25 minutes of self-indulgent baggage. It's undoubtedly worth visiting, but keep your finger on the button and be prepared to scan through the filler... Earthride made their debut (to ME) in 2004 at a Khyber show with Shal. That night I wisely purchased "Taming of the Demons," a highly advisable listen, indeed... Ween turned in the excellent "Quebec" this year, further solidifying them as one of the most purely enjoyable bands in my listening library... In September, Zack introduced me to DJ A2Z, a Hawaiian spinner whose self-released "Love for the Art" became lodged in my stereo for weeks on end. This record can only be defined as infectious.


ALBUM OF THE YEAR, BUT NOT FROM THE YEAR:

Neil Young - "Harvest" (1972)



Besides being my favorite amongst Young's catalog (or rather, what I have heard of it), this album played a major role in my life over 2004. It's sad, quirky, and unpredictable, and builds to a powerfully understated conclusion. "A Man Needs A Maid" is my standout track...If you've never heard that song, go remedy that right now. I'm not kidding...do it this very second.


CONCERTS OF THE YEAR, TOP 5:

1. Sixteen Horsepower - 4/10/04, the Warsaw
My first time seeing them since Ben and I illegally drank beer at the Trocadero's Balcony bar in summer 1998, this show fell on the eve of Easter Sunday. Just past the stroke of midnight David Eugene Edwards looked at his watch, then jubilantly announced "it's Easter!" He said it proudly and genuinely, without a trace of irony. The show was everything it should have been, and I felt so happy and fulfilled standing there letting the music wash over me.

2. Acid Mother's Temple/SubArachnoid Space - 5/23/04, NorthSix
This show was my introduction to AMT, aside from having heard one song on tape years prior. Obviously, the vitality of their existence is on stage rather than on record. Nicely warmed up by SAS, AMT created an impenetrable atmosphere and a wall of noise that was purely hypnotic. I found myself closing my eyes for large portions of the show, basking in the sound and being reminded of why life is wonderful.

3. Neil Young - 3/20/04, Radio City Music Hall
The majority of the show was devoted to Neil's (then) latest project, his "Greendale" epic. It was like attending a high school play put on by one of rock's most iconic figures, which made it enjoyable and intimate despite the gargantuan venue. After the initial set, Neil and Crazy Horse highlighted many of their classics. My only complaint that I wasn't as familiar with said classics, which I am in the process of rectifying.

4. Earthride - 10/2/04, Trash
I saw Earthride on June 26th at the Khyber, opening for three other bands. It's rare that an opening band becomes the focal point of a night of music, but they had a hold of me from first note to last. There are many factors that could explain it, but I'd rather not question it...they just ruled. So seeing them headline months later, more familiar with their music, was ideal.

5. Kaki King - 9/28/04, the Knitting Factory Tap Bar
There's just something about the combination of seeing a cute girl kick ass on guitar, in an intimate setting, on your birthday.

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New Snaps 5.19.05

Periodically, we here at Nothing Terribly Grandiose (read: Joe, at home, in boxers and a smile) will comb the files of recent pics we (I) took and post them under the "New Snaps" heading. Be warned: the word "snaps" refers to the snapping of the camera shutter, not to the presence of ginger snaps. Our ginger snap reserves are lamentably empty. Why do we (I) have no ginger snaps here? I need to troll around online and order the greatest cookie known to man:

Ladies and Gentlemen...

The Legendary...

SWEETZEL'S SPICED WAFERS



But before I go on my cyberquest for spicy satiety, and since I didn't actually take the above photo, thus disqualifying it as MY snap, here are a few of my recent LEGITIMATE snaps from an early afternoon stroll near Union Square:

The Metronome



Being that this is one of tens of thousands of photos probably taken of the Metronome in an average week, this picture wins nothing in the originality column, but that's not the point. The point is that the formatting of the numbers is different than I've ever seen it.

Usually the 'Nome features an uninterrupted string of digits, the last several of which tick the seconds (and I suppose, milliseconds) upward as time passes. Today was different, however...I haven't been back since, so I don't know where the counter stands now, but what's creepy is that the numbers were descending, counting DOWN to something purportedly 59 days in the future (the column breakdown from left to right: days, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds).

Based on the day/time I took the picture (Saturday May 7th 2005, around noon), my calculations show the approximate zero hour for this countdown is around 3am, Wednesday July 6th. What is slated to happen on this day, at that hour of the morning? Should we be prepared for cataclysmic disaster, or perhaps a 3am Circuit City blowout sale? Whatever this imminent happening may be, we know that the foundations of the very world in which we live may be rocked when the final seconds tick away!

Maybe I'll try to score a 3am exchange on the new phone I bought at that very Circuit City a few short weeks ago...

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King of Candy Apples



I later passed through a street fair, gladly treating myself to a plastic cup of ice cold lemonade. New York City street fairs play host to some of the most satisfying and inexpensive foods, including the always-delicious lemonade, $1 Thai food, grilled corn on the cob, freshly made sweet potato fries, and, as the photo shows, candy apples.

This pic needs little, if any, explanation. This guy simply must be the King of the Land of Candy Apples. He has selflessly taken a break from the pressing duties of his monarchy to share the fruit of his underlings with New York City.

This would mean more to me if I actually ate candy apples.

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Moonshadow #3



The night before my stroll, I was barhopping in this neighborhood with Ben and our good friends Steve May and Andy Levine. Rounding the corner on the way to the subway, we came upon the third installment (that WE'VE seen...these advertisements could go back for years) of the Luis Jimenez and Moonshadow series. Not only was this a brand new ad, but someone who preceded us decided to augment it with a blank speech balloon sticker. Ben, always with a pen handy, took the opportunity to fill the speech balloon with a thought pressing heavily on his mind these days:



[For those who can't decipher Ben's scrawl, it says "The U.S. Government is complicit in the attacks of 9/11!"]

Sadly, I was without my camera for this, which was actually the catalyst for the Saturday walk itself.

Now, some backstory on Ben's and my relationship with these Luis & Moon ads:

Well over a year ago, Ben and I came upon a subway ad we both found hilarious.



We both loved the fact that these were two dudes, buried up to their shoulders in wads of cash, apparently howling out of sheer delight. Or insanity. We weren't sure. At any rate, we loved this ad so much that we wrote a song called "Moonshadow" (which will appear on our next album, once we actually take the initiative to make it). We feel it's a fitting tribute to the show's madcap lunacy.

In fact, I listened to MEGA 97.9 (http://www.lamega.com/) in the mornings on and off for several months around this time, and the ad perfectly captures the Luis/Moon dynamic. Luis is at the forefront, handling most of the on air banter/conversation/commentary. He's backed by a colorful cast of characters including the illustrious Moonshadow, who punctuates Luis' mile-a-minute shtick with his trademark howl: HOO-OO-OO-OO-OOOOOO!!!!!!

Months later, while on the First Annual Two Man March, Ben and I found this ad:



The relationship between Luis and Moon seems entirely different than before. Luis seems to have regressed to his late adolescence, when he could sport a soul patch, a beaded necklace, and a carefree un-jaded grin. Moonshadow, on the other hand, has apparently aged several years, now playing the quiet father, eyeing his ne'er-do-well son with a mix of wary disapproval and pride. Ben and I are currently penning another song called "Wayward Son," based on this ad.

Who knows what musical output will spring from this third ad, but it is without doubt a return to form for Luis & Moon. They're once again on the same level, in the same predicament. They're a pair of wild men, speaking their minds, howling at will, only to be controlled by metal plates riveted to their faces! What words of wisdom stand poised to spring from the mouths of our heroes once they break the bonds of their detractors? My guess is Luis will frantically rattle off something in Spanish, followed by Moon's unmistakable primal howl!

HOO-OO-OO-OO-OOOOOO indeed, my friend...HOO-OO-OO-OO-OOOOOO INDEED!!!!!!

Karate Belt Status Update!

Current Belt Status: YELLOW

While it's been a pet fascination since adolescence, I began studying Karate just six months ago. One afternoon at work back in Fall 2004, I was struck with the urge to finally take proactive steps to study martial arts, and I checked Craig's List. One of the first listings I found was for Eng's Karate (http://www33.brinkster.com/engkarate/), and after a brief email volley, I made it to a class and have been going ever since.

Today in class, I tested to increase rank from white belt to yellow belt. It stands as a stepping-stone accomplishment, a part of the foundation it will take to continue building. I've decided to include periodic updates on Nothing Terribly Grandiose, so that my unlimited bastion of loyal readers will be able to easily follow my progress.

You cannot stop The Legion of Dr. Action......
You can only hope to contain us!

-END COMMUNIQUE-

The Tulip Garden

These photos are in Central Park's Conservatory Garden, on the Eastern edge of the park at 106th Street. My roommate Zack and I walked all around the very Northern part of the park yesterday, never venturing below 100th Street. We were struck by how it was almost a forgotten part of the park; despite the weather being gorgeous, relatively few people were out enjoying it. There are some jagged rock outcroppings up there with a cool view of East Harlem, so we hung out and watched life happen for a little while.

On the way out of the park, we found the garden. To the best of my admittedly meager botanical knowledge, the garden is wreathed entirely with tulips, my mom's favorite flower. Since the good people at 1-800-FLOWERS decided not to deliver the tulips I ordered for my mom on Mother's Day, I decided to go back this afternoon and take some photos.

Happy Mother's Day, mom!

[THE READING PUBLIC: Awwwwwwww!!!]













Photos 5.15.05

To mark the 1 year anniversary of buying my camera, I chose 101 of my favorite photos from the year. Here's the album, posted on snapfish.com:

http://www.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=20384484/t_=16681241

My friend Ben and I recently celebrated the Second Annual Two Man March. The defining feature for the march is the two of us walking up the entire length of Manhattan. Last year, we began at Battery Park. This year, we decided to include the Brooklyn Bridge in the festivities. Of course, I had my trusty camera with me...here's the album, posted on snapfish.com:

http://www.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=22197566/t_=16681241

Video Editing Reel

This is a short sample of my recent editing work:

www.cliffschwarzmusic.com/spots/Joe_reel.mov

Please feel free to contact me with job offers, comments, questions, etc...

The Launch of "Nothing Terribly Grandiose"

Welcome, and thanks for stumbling upon Nothing Terribly Grandiose...

Stay tuned...